Key to the true change
By Aneta Antkiewicz
The true change comes so naturally that is barely even noticed. It doesn`t follow attending the workshops, studying the theories and methods, reading the books, collecting the titles and levels in education, not even being influenced by someone`s charisma.
Which way to the authentic change of ourselves? I know the path I have been following for years. The biggest role there is played by a human being who can deeply listen you in the space of everyday matters, two healing sisters: empathy and meditation and the time.
The five ingredients at everyone`s fingertips.
Empathy and meditation have been present in my life for the last 10 years in many ways. Thanks to the mindfulness I was learning to stop and watch without judging what was happening but I did not manage to reach that vulnerable and painful part of me hidden in the depth of my heart. The psychotherapy and empathy sessions, on the other hand, were bringing acceptance and understanding to me but they did not allow to deepen the connection.
In Zen Coaching those two approaches co-operate with each other and have a new quality. The empathy anchored in a daily life and its challenges, supported by meditation and the presence of the other human being becomes loving and warm. In that space every moment of being in touch with our own feelings, body sensations and heart longings contributes to the process of deep transformation.
How to do it in a real life? The answer is to practice a meditative and empathic listening in any way and any time. If you cultivate such listening you will always get the change for better, but… you need to do it. Day after day, month after month, year after year. It is not enough to go through a few even very moving experiences because the process asks for time and patience. The person who is constantly given the loving attention gets access to his or her heart and begins to treat himself or herself more and more calm and kind. Also that one who opens his or her heart and listen with empathy and meditation gets on the path to self-understanding and self-compassion.
The best way to start is to join a regular group for a true listening and to try with the friends and family on a daily basis. The beginning seems to be both easy and difficult and means a mindful and kind listening with no interrupting, analysing, diagnosing, giving comments or advice. After you get the feel of such new listening you can include the meditation elements which make the process deeper.
When you need the individual support or are ready to go further it is worth to have Zen Coaching sessions.
When we change ourselves that way, everything in our life changes. We do not need any longer the advice like: „How to be self-confident”, “How to cope with stress”, “How to talk to the kids”, “How to heal our relationships”. Life slowly ceases to be a problem and becomes a journey. The other people stop to be seen as a danger but a gift. We have more and more understanding and compassion for ourselves and the others. There is no worry and uncertainty while making decision. Our being gradually gains lightness and ease and the things start to work out.
Post by Aneta Antkiewicz