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Key Practise 1: 1-2-3 or Coming Home To Who I Am 0/3
This practise is the foundation of what Zen Coaching is all about. Saying yes to my experience is coming home to who I am.
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Key Practice 2: the A-B-C of Relating 0/5
This practice supports us in resting with both ourselves and others when relating, and connect heart to heart in any situation that may occur. We live in a world where many of us focus more on getting heard and on offering our well-intended comments and advice, and spend less time, energy and focus on truly listening to ourselves and others. When we focus most of our energy on being understood and heard by others, we tend to totally forget or be superficial in our listening. We then tend to listen more to our thoughts and interpretations of what the other is saying rather than to be really there for what is alive in the other in this moment. This practice is an invitation to become a listener.
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Heart-to-heart communication: This practice is an invitation to become a listener.Lecture3.1
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A – First, to connect with myselfLecture3.2
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B – Second, to see, hear and understand the otherLecture3.3
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C – And only then, thirdly, seek to be understood, seen and heard by the other.Lecture3.4
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A-B-C keeps us anchored in restful awareness while relating.Lecture3.5
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Key Practice 3: See – Be – Go 0/3
We see where we are and where we would like to go, we allow ourselves to fall or relax into ourselves, into being or awareness, and we allow action to occur spontaneously from being.
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BONUS: The practise of Reframing 0/7
Problems don´t exist in the world, but in our minds A problem exists in our mind, as an interpretation of our situation or our experience. Problems come into existence through negative thinking about our situation and our experiences. A problem is seeing a situation or an experience in the light of what is wrong and bad about it. An issue thought about as a problem perpetuates the issue as a problem.
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Reframing a problem into a heart-opening takes only three simple stepsLecture5.1
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Step 1: Describe the ProblemLecture5.2
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Step 2: Connect with your longingLecture5.3
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Step 3: Allow and experience the longingLecture5.4
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Longings in disguiseLecture5.5
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Feeling into our longingsLecture5.6
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Reframing as a way of livingLecture5.7
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C – And only then, thirdly, seek to be understood, seen and heard by the other.
THEN to express myself and be understood myself.
In this step we express ourselves honestly with the purpose of being true to ourselves, and in order to enable the other to see us and empathically connect with us in this moment. We express what is alive in us here and now, without placing the cause for what is being experienced on something outside ourselves. In other words, we take responsibility for and own our experience. This makes us masters of ourselves instead of victims of circumstances.
The more we express the feelings and true needs (longings) alive in us in this moment, rather than just sharing thoughts and viewpoints, the easier it will be for others to connect with us in a heartful rather than a mental way.
Step (C) is an offering as a gift our reality as it is being experienced by us in this moment. This offering may include the gift of making a request to the other.
A request is a gift because it offers the other a chance to willingly contribute to our well-being. The gift disappears when it is mixed with expectation and demand.